Thought this may be of some use:

Q: I don’t get hit. How can it be domestic violence?

A: Domestic violence is not always physical, and that means that the signs may not be obvious. DV can involve controlling a person’s contact with their friends and family (isolating them), destroying property, verbal threats in private or public, etc.

Q: Does Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender domestic violence exist?

A: Our national lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender domestic violence helpline took 800 calls between January and April 2008. We spoke to callers for over 35hrs on LGBT DV, signposting, listening, talking through issues.

Surveys show that at least 1 in 4 LGBT people experience domestic violence. LGBT domestic violence exists. It is real.

Q: When two women fight isn’t it just a lover’s tiff?

A: There is nothing blasé about violence in a relationship and referring to it this way minimises the impact it has and is one reason why LGBT domestic violence remains a hidden issue.

Q: When two men fight isn’t it just sex games like S&M?

A: S&M is a consensual sexual practice. Domestic violence is abusive and one sided and features no such consent. Sexual role play is not the same as domestic violence.

Q: Isn’t lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender domestic violence is the same as heterosexual domestic violence?

A: In some ways it is, but there are very important differences. One main point is the lack of support services available to LGBT DV sufferers. Also, another is the issue of having to out yourself to report the domestic violence.

Q: How can it be domestic violence if the smaller person hits the bigger one?

A: Size and stature is not reflected in ones abusive behaviour. Just because someone is smaller, does not mean they can not hit you, destroy your possessions, threaten to out you to your friends and family, control your finances or belittle you in front of other.

Q: What benefits are there to me calling you for help and not a mainstream helpline?

A: LGBT people inherently know the issues and problems another LGBT person will face. Our LGBT sessional workers will not judge you for your sexuality; they deal with those experiencing domestic violence and those perpetrating it.


  1. thanks for posting this! As someone who has worked in this field (treating victims of LGBT DV and trauma in general) I am keenly aware of the need for awareness.




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